The Art of Really Good Gift-Giving
This post contains affiliate links, so if you make a purchase I may earn a commission. Learn more.
You might look at the elite gift-giver in your life—the one who seems to have a magic formula for thinking of and finding the perfect thing time and time again—and assume that she just has a gift for gifting. Not so. I will go on record and say that anyone can become an elite gifter, and the path there is amazingly simple. All the stress, pressure, and frustration of gifting can be a thing of the past. And all you need are open ears and something to write with.
How to Approach Gifting
Gifting can feel like a huge bummer. There’s pressure not only to think of the perfect thing, but also to execute it well (and in time). Especially around the holidays, when there are many gifts to be gotten for many people, it can start to feel like drowning. And sometimes this pressure leads to buying something just for the sake of buying something.
But the best gifts don’t have to be perfect, expensive, or elaborate. They don’t require endless hours or effort—they’re about listening, noticing, and being intentional. A really exceptional gift is one that makes its recipient feel seen and appreciated.
So, practically speaking, how can we give gifts like these?
The Secret, Golden Gifting Sauce
Gifting sauce isn’t a phrase you encounter every day, is it? Anyhoo. If the heart of good gift-giving had to be distilled into two core principles, it would be these: listen to your recipient, and keep notes. It really is that simple. It’s not about spending a lot of money (necessarily), but about understanding what matters to them and why, and keeping track of your insights somewhere.
1. Listen to Your Recipient
Begin by listening to your loved ones, colleagues, or any other lucky ducks on your gift list. What lights them up? How do they spend their time, and what do they love to do? Are there particular causes that mean a lot to them? How is their home decorated? Who do they admire? What are they proud of? What are their values? What do they like to eat, drink, wear? What shared memories do you have–like trips or inside jokes?
You’ll start to notice nuggets of insight that arise naturally as you listen. “I love these glasses, but we’ve already broken three of them!” (Gift idea: shatter-resistant wine glasses.) “My skin gets so dry in the winter.” (Gift idea: fancy body butter.) “We’re trying to drink less, but the end-of-day ritual is hard to give up.” (Gift idea: non-alcoholic craft cocktails.)
If you spend time with your recipients, you’ll quickly start generating ideas. And for those who are a bit more removed, like your boss or clients, you can certainly resort to some good old fashioned internet stalking via social media.
2. Keep Notes
Once you’ve gotten some ideas from reflecting on your recipient’s interests or from listening with intention to them, it’s important to capture those ideas somewhere. Record them in a notebook, in a note on your phone, or in a meticulously organized spreadsheet (if you’re a little coo-coo like me). Gifting inspiration is all around, we just need to capture it.
I recommend organizing your notes by person, so you can keep a clear little database. List everyone you plan to get gifts for in a given year, and then you can easily pop into your note and add new ideas under each person as they arise. When someone mentions something off-handedly (“Yeah, our strainer has been cracked for months”) you can deliver it months later and create a magical, perfect gifting moment.
You might get a gifting idea and be tempted to think that you’ll remember it months later when an occasion arises, but that rarely pans out. Keeping notes makes gifting more joyful and less stressful. So as a birthday or holiday approaches, you can reference a year’s worth of thought, reflection, and ideas.
A List of Gifting Thought Starters
Sometimes you’ll be pinched for time or not have a running list of notes to reference just yet. In cases like these, it can help to broaden your thinking beyond classic gifts. Here are some ideas:
Curated Packages
Sometimes it feels impossible to find a single, perfect gift. Maybe you also have a sense of how much you want to spend, so you’re aiming for one item that checks the price box. But branching out into a theme that includes several related “sub-gifts” can be a fun and helpful way to approach the process differently.
For example, a date night box for your friend and her fiancé, consisting of wine, chocolates, and a record (if they have a record player). Or a spa box with face masks, essential oils, and bath salts. Or a pasta box with a few types of pasta, a lovely red sauce, and a fancy olive oil. The possibilities are endless.
This gift route requires a bit more logistical effort, between ordering the items, receiving them, reassembling them into a group, and then potentially sending them again to your recipient. So if that sounds like too much, you can also find some lovely pre-made gift boxes.
Educational Gifts
For your favorite life-long learner. Is there a subject they’ve always been interested in? Like painting, cooking, gardening, dancing, golf, or anything else. Consider buying them a book or a class (digital or in-person) that will let them immerse themselves in the topic. Or, for the person with many interests, maybe a MasterClass membership.
Experience Gifts
Experience gifts come in all shapes and sizes. For example: museum pass or membership, food tour, massage or facial (or full spa day), hot air balloon ride, wine or whiskey tasting, farm sanctuary stay, performance (concert, play, ballet, etc.), ziplining, scenic train trip, bouquet-making workshop, retreat (silent, yoga, etc.), apple picking, plane ticket or full trip, national park pass, sound bath, sports tickets, pottery class, whale watching.
Experience gifts can be super special, as they’re almost like gifting memories. They also vary vastly in price, so you can find something that fills the bill.
Gift Cards
Gift cards are not a ground-breaking gift idea, but they’re a solid option if you know someone’s general interests but aren’t certain exactly what they would want. You can go narrower (e.g. a gift card to a brand they like) or broader (e.g. a gift card to a marketplace related to their interests – like Thrive Market for healthy eaters).
You can also opt for the gift card equivalent to cash, like a Visa gift card that can be used anywhere, but there’s perhaps a touch more thoughtfulness to narrowing down the context slightly to a category you know they love.
Gifts that Give Back
For your favorite altruist! Gifts that give back can take a few forms. You can make a donation to a cause they care about in their honor, and then share a thoughtful card that acknowledges it. You can purchase something from a brand that gives back to a cause they care about, like a brand that plants trees. Or you can donate your time by getting involved in a cause they care about.
Take inspiration from the man who paid for 40 dog adoptions for his wife’s 40th birthday. They volunteer at the shelter together and foster lots of animals, so he knew it would delight her. Is that not the sweetest, ever?
Gifts that Grow
Plants for the win. If your recipient is a plant person, consider getting them a lovely house plant, an indoor hydroponic herb garden, or a plant tower (if you’re fancy). I can say this as a plant person myself: I’ve never received a plant as a gift and not been very excited about it. It’s a gift that keeps giving.
“Finite” Gifts
For your loved one who already has too many things. Maybe he or she lives in a studio and doesn’t have the space to accumulate more items, is moving soon, or is a minimalist. Consider a gift that will get used up, like delicious food, fresh flowers, or candles.
Homemade Gifts
If you’re tempted to breeze by this section while saying to yourself, “No can do; I’m not creative,” then PLEASE wait up. Creativity comes in a thousand different forms. Write a poem, draw a picture, bake a cake, assemble a birdhouse, knit a scarf, frame a picture, refurbish a jewelry box. Everyone has creativity in them and it can make for an exceptional gift to coax it out. What feels like a doable (if challenging) project they would love?
Non-Physical Gifts
We’re often programmed to think of gifts as objects. But at the end of the day, the most precious thing is time. Consider cooking their favorite meal or doing that task for them that they’ve been putting off for months. These can be the most meaningful type of gift.
Personalized Gifts
All gifts should be personalized, but this category refers to personalization in the form of monogramming. The lead time on these gifts can be a bit longer. But who doesn’t love to see their name emblazoned on a bathrobe or cutting board?! Etsy has a huge collection of monogrammable items.
Subscriptions Boxes
The gift that keeps on giving. If you can imagine a subscription box, someone probably offers it. Coffee? Yes. Vegan snacks? Yes. Socks? Yes. Consider your recipient’s interests and then hit Google to find the best options in your chosen category.
Where to Find Unique Gifts
Maybe you have the perfect gift idea and are looking for the perfect place to acquire it. Or maybe you have a sense of the gift you’re looking for, but want some inspiration. Or maybe you’re looking to be inspired from ground zero. These marketplaces offer lovely, unusual gifts with a little something extra.
Etsy
Etsy is an oldie but a goodie when it comes to unique gifts. Their massive collection of handmade goods will help you find almost anything you might be looking for. Plus it feels really nice to support small, artisan makers. You can also peruse the gift section of their site for inspiration.
Made Trade
Made Trade offers ethically made, sustainably sourced, and beautifully crafted gifts for the conscious consumer. Their curated selection spans home goods, apparel, and accessories, and showcases artisanship while prioritizing fair wages and eco-friendly materials. It really takes the heavy-lifting out of gift research. A dream!
Uncommon Goods
Uncommon Goods offers unique, thoughtfully designed gifts that prioritize creativity and quality. Their collection includes handmade, personalized, and sustainably sourced items, which makes it easy to find meaningful presents for any occasion.
What to Give Someone Who Has Everything
Perhaps you know someone for whom money is no object and who can (and for the most part, does) purchase anything they might want for themselves. For these people, things may start to lose their luster. One good option is an experience gift they might not think of for themselves—like a wine tasting, a private chef for the evening, or concert tickets. You could also consider making a charitable donation in their honor.
Another strong route is spontaneous gifts, by which I mean: call them on their birthday and find out what restaurant they’ll be eating at, then call the restaurant and pay ahead for their meal. Or even just send a dessert! Or call the hotel they’re staying at for their anniversary and have a bottle of champagne sent to them. These tidbits—where they’re eating or staying—provide a perfect opportunity to surprise and delight.
Gifting is about making someone feel seen and loved. You don’t need perfection; thoughtfulness shines through even the simplest gift.
